The Little Mouse

I live in a renovated barn that sits in the middle of a farm gone suburban just outside of Washington DC.  I share it with two Tibetan Buddhist Nuns, or Ani’s. On their side they have a large, lovable black dog, and on my  side I have two little kitties. I guess because the house used to be a barn, once in a while a mouse surfaces, and from time to time my cats get a little mouse corned. As a Buddhist, and a compassionate person, I just have to intervene, both for the cats karma, and for the mouse’s suffering.

A few months back when they both had a small, helpless mouse cornered, I ran to get a dishtowel to catch him so I wouldn’t hurt him, and so he wouldn’t bite me in his fear.  Unfortunately I wasn’t quick enough even though I ran.  I won’t tell you the sad end but I was devastated that I wasn’t able to save him.

That being said, a few nights ago I heard them scrambling over the hardwood floor and so went running into the room where they were, sure they’d brought in a bird or something.  There was this helpless little mouse crammed into the corner  of the room with both cats crouched patiently watching him from  just a foot or so away.

This time I was smart. I ordered both of them with a very stern, calm voice, “Don’t move.” They both looked at me and didn’t budge.  They saw it met business.

I just couldn’t leave the mouse again while I found something to catch him in, so instead I called to Jetsunma, my Lama, asking for her help, and then began to do mantra: “Om Mani Pedme Hung” over and over under my breath all the while calm.  As I did this I gently reached out and picked up the little mouse, feeling completely unafraid and filled with compassion at his fear and plight. He let me gather him up with two fingers, and place him in my palm, gently cupping my fingers around his tiny little body. He didn’t move except to look up at me (I’m sure it was the Lama’s blessing that he didn’t jump out of my hand). I gently held him in my hand with his little head peeking out and took him outside.  

Jetsunma has taught us that upon death it’s best to exit your body out of the top of the head, or the head chakra, because it creates the opportunity for a higher rebirth. This is part of a Tibetan Buddhist practice and you can learn more by reading “Tibetan Book of the Dead”.  Anyway, I learned from the ordained that when an animal, or a human, is dying it’s important to tap the top of their head so they are conscious of the head chakra. So even though my little rescue wasn’t hurt in anyway, I did tap the top of his head gently three times with my finger, continued to do mantra, and then let him loose in the garden where he ran to safety.

We as Buddhist believe every life is so precious because each one has the Buddha nature. Each sentient being is special and suffering, and want to free from suffering. So any comfort or help we can give is essential. The mouse’s little life, his tiny head peeking out of my hand, all was so touching I cried a little as I dedicated the merit to the end of suffering for all beings, including my cats who may suffer in their next life for taking lives in this one.

Don’t ever take a life for granted. Even the smallest bug is precious, has the seed of the Buddha, the light, within it. We are taught that the light, that potential isn’t any larger or smaller in any living being! It’s just that the potential and ability to pray is different. And if you see it as the Buddha teaches, we are not separate from them.  I’m still just a student of the dharma, but it all seems really simple. Help and be helped. Love and be loved. Give and be given to.

Om Ah Hung

Bubble Bath Awaiting

The picture above was the photo I used for the flyer about the Festival of 1,000 Lights & Flowers.

I don’t have long to write, a bubble bath awaits my attention, but I wanted to share the blessing of yesterday. The festival ended up being a wonderful event that took place after dark at the Enlightenment Stupa at the Temple. Around fifty people gathered around the stupa and our precious Lama, Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo, arrived to light the first candle (see the picture below) I’m in the upper right corner with fur around my hood. We each received a lit candle, which we carried around the stup while chanting mantra for world peace, and then the candles were placed around the base of the stupa. Then we all gathered around Jetsunma, some sitting on the ground other standing, and she gave us a brief but loving teaching on how to view the new year coming.

I wanted to write this before too much time went by because there is no more precious moment in a students life then to sit at the feet of their splendid Teacher and drink from the wisdom that pours forth. As she shared and included us in her teaching I really felt our sangha as one body, one entity. She said that we should consider ourselves like a large extended family, a large Italian family (because she is part Italian!), and we might be big and noisy and in each other lives, but that is exactly how it should be. Loving and sharing and forgiving. She tells us that this is going to be a really wonderful year for us, many new directions and success.

For me it was sitting on the ground in front of my teacher listening and savoring every moment, finally maybe, just a little bit getting how to be mindful. An enormous thanks for that, and the belief that it was an excellent way to begin a new year.

Tibetan New Years

Happy Losar, the Tibetan Buddhism New Year. Tonight our temple is sponsoring the “Festival of 1,000 Lights & Flowers”. You can read about it by viewing this poster. On Losar, when someone does something that is meritorious (which is a big part of the path) such as kindness to others, generous offerings, prayers and so on, the merit is multiplied by 10 million! I don’t need to give an example, it’s pretty clear huh?

And so, with that in mind, I’d like to offer this amazing teaching that came from a beautiful Dakini who was the consort of Guru Rinpoche, the father of Buddhism in Tibet. In Buddhism making an offering to anyone is considered very auspcious and meritorious, but offering to the Teacher is enormous. On this auspicious day what better thing to do than understand that importance for the sake of all beings and our own awakening.

 

“Then I asked the dakinis:
“Why do you suffer in this way?
To what purpose?
If one lives in accordance with the Dharma until death,
is that not sufficient?
And they answered me:
‘Dear woman of irresolute mind!
The compassion of a great teacher who has all the qualifications
may only be available briefly.
If you do not offer whatever he/she wishes

when he/she looks upon you,
later nothing you do will lead to fulfillment.

If you procrastinate,
obstacles will multiply.

Your insight and certainty may last only a moment:
natural and spontaneous faith may not stay long.
If you do not make offerings when Pristine
Awareness arises,
later nothing you do may lead to fulfillment.

If you procrastinate,
obstacles will multiply.

Now at least you have a human body –
you may not have it long.
The chance to practice Dharma seldom arises;
If you do not make offerings when you meet a qualified teacher-

If you procrastinate –
obstacles will multiply.

The teacher may only be here briefly;
only now can you be certain
to enter the door of the secret teachings.
If you do not offer yourself
when you have access to the highest Dharma-

If you procrastinate –
obstacles will multiply.

‘From Mother of Knowledge:
The Enlightenment of Yeshe TsogyalbyNam-mkha’I snying-po
Tranlated by Tarthang Tulku

As Americans we often don’t understand offering. We tend to see this kind and loving gesture in an ordinary way. In Tibetan Buddhism offering with you heart has enormous merit. Offering to the Teacher is beyond words. The actual act of the physical gift changing hands is not the offering, it’s the intention of love, devotion or kindness.

Trying to Understand

The picture above was taken by a dharma friend Christine, who has the most amazing eye.  These are vases filled with auspicious substances, prepared to be placed into a stupa before it’s sealed.  If you’re wondering what a stupa is, please visit www.stupas.org and read about the stupas of Kunzang Palyul Choling.  These vases were eventually stuffed in to the beautiful Amitabha stupa in Sedona, Arizona, so be sure to visit the Arizona page and see pictures of the finished stupa.  If  you ever have the chance to visit that part of the country, the trip would not be complete until you visit the stupa park high in the red rocks of the Arizona desert.  And I recently heard that a special Tulku has taken up residence nearby which gives the visit an even deeper blessing.Tonight I wanted to talk briefly about something that, in my little pea brain, seemed like clarity.

 

Before I start, I just want to make sure everyone understands that I’m a student who has been on the path eight years now, but only three years on the Buddhist path.  I’m still learning and can’t even pretend to be learned. What I am about to put forth is just …… well, food for thought maybe.The Buddha teaches that there are three ways of looking at everything, ordinary, extraordinary and secret. Ordinary is ‘I see a loaf of bread’, extraordinary is ‘the loaf of bread is a blessing from the Lama’, and secret is’ just as this bread is food for my body, so to is dharma food for the heart. Just as I have plenty of food in my life, that tells me I will always have teachings that will feed my hunger.’  My Lama says  ”Astrology doesn’t say those planets control you.  Astrology says the microcosm and the macrocosm are synchronise.”

 OK, so you probably get it. What is going on in the universe and the planets is also going on within our own bodies, and therefore also our minds.  Ordinary; the planets revolve around the sun. Extraordinary: the planets indicate different aspects about our future.  Secret: the planets are simply reflections of our own inner truths.So that was a set up.  Here is my own ‘ah ha’.  Everything is made of the same thing, particles, atoms, molecules. Those particles are all the same.  Nothing is actually solid, there is space between atoms, and so in truth – not solid.  And, atoms are made of energy.  So a table is made of the same thing my body is made of, and food I eat, the water drink, even the air I breathe.  It’s a little different, but in the end, it’s really made of the same thing.

 

The Buddha teaches that emptiness is truth.  When we are enlightened we understand how there is really nothing but emptiness.  So…. if you close your eyes and imagine all the atoms that make up everything around you, and you picture them as being all the same color, texture, transparent, then there is really no difference between you and the dresser. And in fact, since everything is made of exactly the same thing – isn’t that a kind of emptiness?</P.

The Lama says “In the view, I literally cannot see a place where I end and you begin.” And the Buddha says “Emptiness is not empty, but neither is it full.”

Ok, now, here is the last ‘ah ha’.  If the Lama is the Buddha – which is truth – and the Buddha is in everything – that means all those atoms, all that energy. The Buddha is all compassionate and never leaves us – then what do we ever have to fear?  We are always loved, always provided for.  The Buddha is the very food we eat, given to us by our Lama.  The Lama is made of compassion and absolutely cannot do or be anything but loving – they truly just don’t know any other way. The Lama is the Buddha in nirmanakaya form (or physical form) manifesting for our sake.  And the Lama is in all things and  of all things.  It’s said that the real accomplished teachers can take from the very air and create anything.  Jesus turned water into wine because the water and wine was made of the same thing. And so in truth our teacher takes care of absolutely everything in our lives.  And through complete and perfect love and compassion wants us to be safe, feed, warm, happy and healthy.  It’s all ours. So why can’t we just be happy and have not fear?  

Because we think we are ’self’ or separate.  That we can run our own show.  And in fact, we have been doing that for so many lifetimes, it’s hard for us to remember to let go, and allow the teacher to take care of our every need. Bingo. Ego. Trust, faith.  All the things that we are told time and time again to have.  Those of use on the path work hard everyday to remember to let go and trust that we will not fall.  That the teacher is there to catch us.

So that’s my little attempt to try and understand.  Maybe I’ve missed the mark somewhere, but it seems pretty clear to me.  Does anyone else have a better idea, or better understanding?  I’m always open to input. Thanks for listening. 

Tibetan Belief

This is a picture of my Lama, Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo.She is made of compassion. “Whatever I have to do to help others…. I WILL do…..I WILL do.” She says we have spent many lives together or each of us would not be with her in this life time. She does indeed hold my heart in the very palm of her hand. I feel safe with her because so many Lama’s from this and other lineages have such respect for her. She knows the Buddha’s teachings as if they are a very part of her own breath, and every time she teaches I am awakened to a new part of myself. One of the things the Buddha taught is that every being, EVERY being (not just humans) have, during one life time or other, have been our mother! We have lived so many countless lifetimes, it’s impossible for us to even imagine. It gives it a whole different dimension the next time you want to swat a fly, or step in a slug.  

I was thinking today, who would want to read this blog? Am I just dancing with myself? Am I expressing random thoughts for really no reason? That maybe what I need to do is write poetry, or short stories that are fiction. At least they may raise some ones eye brow.High in a treea crow perchesblack against the grey skyA dot … a thought in my mind. 

High in a tree Sits something suspended Something paused Something dark. And alive with light. Letting go of thought Letting go of attachment. Letting go of object And subject And wasting time on the hole in my mind. What comes before time? What comes before mind? What helps us know That we are not blind To all that is and all that isn’t While still caught high in the tree A dot against the sky. 

Growing UP

I’ve begun to realized that in my mind I’m still a child needing guidance. I’m still looking for and wanting to be held and told it’s all going to be alright. I’ve been married twice, and engaged to be married five times. Everytime it just wasn’t exactly what I needed, so unfortunately I was the one who ended them all. I just wasn’t happy. They were good men, kind, all of them loved me I’m certain. But I was looking for something that was extraordinary, when all those relationships, while in the beginning seemed magical, turned out to be just ordinary.

When I came to the path over eight years ago, it was through the Hindu discipline. Reading the teachings of Sai Baba awakened something in me that had been sleeping. Something that was knowing and centered. It changed me, my world changed. I seperated from my husband of eight years, and for the first time started to understand who I really was, and more, what it was I wanted. I found comfort, love and safety in the path. I wanted to help others know that they are not alone either. That we all ARE indeed exactly the same inside, and all want desperately to be safe and happy. I knew Sai wasn’t my root Guru, but I respected him and loved his compassionate activities.

That’s when Jetsunma came into my life. Many, many auspicous things happened around this change. When I first heard about her, it shocked me. Where had I heard about a woman, born in Brooklyn, who had been the first western born woman to be recognized as a Tulku? A sangha member who I’d done business with was talking about her at a stupa dedication, and I knew I’d heard of her before. I went home, straight to the bookshelf, and there was a book I’d bought 6 months before named “Reborn in the West”. But I’d never read it. It caught my eye, I bought it in Tucson, but never read it. When I pulled it from the shelf that day, there was Jetsunma on the cover. I was astonished. I read the chapter on her and immediately knew that SHE would tell me who I was, and SHE would tell me why I’m here.

I quickly sat down and wrote her an eight page letter, ripped it up, and rewrote one page. It was a moment of reaching out. I received and answer with encouragement to come to the center and begin learning the practice and attending the teachings and classes. I never looked back. I’d found my root Lama at last.

I’d been selected as the President of the Sai Baba Center in Sedona, and quit. It was Sai’s birthday and I’d painted a portrait of him with the intent of offering it to the Center. Instead, I attended a celebration in Phoenix where over 300 members attended. I offered it there knowing it would be the last time I’d be a part of the Sai Baba devotees.

When I returned to the valley where I lived, an enormous, complete double rainbow spanned from one end of the valley to the other. The drop into the valley is around 3,000 feet, and as the road curved down to the bottom the rainbow seemed to follow me. It was astonishing since all around was a storm with rain and darkness. Only over the valley at that very spot was the sun shinning through, creating this miraculous sight. I definitely took it to be confirmation that the choice I was making was perfect.All my Sai devotee friends supported my change. They understood somehow and had respect for Jetsunma. All but one, whose family were the very ones who introduced me to Sai. And that’s another story I’ll save for later.

Dakini Day

Yesterday was Dakini Day, and Jetsunma was going to practice with us. We were to do the Chime Sok Thig (pronounced the ‘Jimmy – soak -tick:) and at the last moment she wasn’t able to attend, but asked us to go forward with the practice anyway.

Guru Padmasambava was the amazing Buddha who was responsible for bring Buddhism to Tibet. Many, many miracles were said to have happened around Padmasambava, or Guru Rinpoche as he is known in Tibet. A powerful Guru whose amazing blessings still exist in the world today. He had a consort, Mandarava, who he practiced with in the caves of Maritika. This particular practice we were to do last night is a powerful practice of deathlessness that only those who have been empowered can practice (empowerments come from the Lama teaching and doing a special ceremony that transmits the understanding of the teaching in an extraordinary way). It was a practice Guru Rinpoche and Mandarava did in the caves of Maritika! Jetsunma has been recognized as the incarnation of Manadarava, so she and our sangha have strong connections with this practice. It’s a Dzochen, or advanced practice, so even though I’m a newer student, I have received the empowerment and the teaching, and so I’m allowed to do it.

I’m always amazed when I go to the temple for a practice such as this. We have a large ordained community, and it’s awesome to see them all there together. We generally sit on the floor on cushions with prayer benches in front of us to hold our practice books. There was a table in front of the altar filled to spilling over with flowers, fruit, cheeses, cakes, and all kinds of other offerings.

Sitting cross legged for two hours can be trying, but just arriving, setting up and preparing for such a practice really calms me inside. Once we all begin the Tibetan mantra’s and prayers, the room is filled with candles and chanting. All around me are colorful thankas (Tibetan wall hangings that are hand painted Buddha’s), and altars filled with golden statues, smiling and peaceful. I noticed that the Omsay (not sure on the spelling of this) who leads the prayers was wearing a golden fleece under her robes and had to laugh. Tibetan Buddhism has arrived in America. The entire experience is always a juxtaposition of cultures.

The Omsay always reads a list of prayers that have been requested by loved ones. These prayer requests come from the internet (www.prayerwithoutceasing.org), from a book outside the prayer room that allows you to add prayers, and over the phone. Plus at the time of practice we add our own prayers for friends, family, pets and those we might have heard about on the news or through others. And of course, at the top of the list is our own Precious Lama and all the other Teachers alive today. The list always tends to be a long one, but it really helps us to focus our intention before beginning. Just in the three years I’ve been here I’ve seen miracles take place in situations that seemed completely hopeless. Cancer that was there, and then when the doc operated in the next hour, it was gone! Things like that. Jetsunma says prayer is profound, and can most certainly and directly make a real difference. It’s true. And to say those prayers in Tibetan, prayers that are ancient and profound, with a group, is beyond words.

Sometimes I have a brain and reflect on my intention, and I need to do that every time I sit on the cushion. Jetsunma says, "Do you do the prayer, and it goes out and sprinkles fairy dust on those you’re praying for……No." She says it’s you that has to change. That by changing who we are inside actually cures what is outside of ourselves. The Buddha says we are not separate, so of course that all makes complete sense when looking at it in this extraordinary way, not in an ordinary way.

In the Eight Directions

As lotus leaves
Sway in the eight directions,
Your body swirls
Like the heart of the sun:
My only companion.

Like the pi-wang’s sweet melody,
Your song enchants me
With elegant words.
Though I have little honor,
I am luckier than all the powerless.

As purity and the fragrance of sandalwood
Were born together from the first,
Your love and its fragrance
Emerge from the primeval distance
And rouse the mind.

Like the pure water of heaven,
You bring sweet desires.
And your way is lovely – -

You soothe my grasping mind
Like the new moon.
Like the blazing hot sun
You open the lotus to life
You eliminate the wild darkness.
Close to Padmasambhava,
Let us be joyful and happy

.-Danzan Ravjaa-

First Day Musings

I’m guessing there will be many  new blogs started today since it’s January 1st. I’m guessing a lot of others will think this is a good way to start the new year.But, I’m guessing that most of those ‘bloggers’ have an idea of why they are doing this.  I don’t really.  Just a sense that I want to share my amazing/ordinary life with the rest of world, reaching out and maybe in some way making a connection.